Contemplative Introspection…or…where my brain has been hiding lately


Lately I have been spending a fair bit of time just thinking about my life and trying to quantify where I am and why I am having various troubles or successes. I don’t know that I have any real answers to these questions, but I do have a better understanding of myself, and in so doing I believe I have a better grasp for why I am finding myself where I am these days.

First off is school, and the struggles that I have been having with the current class. The current class is an online class, and I have been really struggling with it. Consider that a vast majority of my time spent in Higher Education (i.e. college) from the 80’s through to today has been spent in on-campus classes. The few online classes that I have taken have been disasters, thus leaving me with a very bad impression of online classes. Now consider that my approach to on-campus classes for the last four years has been to do the majority of my homework over the course of a day or two just prior to each on-campus session. Online courses require daily attention with significant contributions on a daily basis. Do you see where my problem lies?

Once I started really looking at the two approaches I realized with sudden clarity why I was struggling so much with my online class. Years of ingrained study patterns do not change easily, and those study patterns are what is contributing to my difficulties. I have known all along what I need to do to complete the class, but I have been fighting with myself to actually get it done consistently, with habits winning out over willpower time after time.

Too bad this realization came at the end of Week Four of a five week class, eh?

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September 18, 2011 · 10:55 am

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