Lying back on a blanket with Caulla, relaxing in the shade and enjoying the gentle breeze, I gazed up at the sky. Lo, what did I see? Was it the sun? No, it was a rainbow! Hanging in the sky with high, wispy clouds as a backdrop, I saw the arc of a rainbow hanging in the sky. Upon pointing it out to Sarah, she proclaimed that it was a ring.
Is a rainbow still a rainbow if it is a ring? What does it mean when you spy a rainbow hanging in the sky without reaching down to the earth? Was this something special for Midsummer Day? Or was it a freak phenomenon of light refraction through water particles suspended in the atmosphere?
Me, I think I like the idea of it being something special being provided by the gods. Maybe one of them was painting in the sky, or doing their own celebration of this special day. I choose to be blessed by the vision of beauty that I saw in the sky today.
Who would have thought it? I certainly didn’t anticipate it, but here I am a published writer. Years ago, as a teen, I dreamed of being a writer, and spent hours at the typewriter (yes, we used those back then) writing stories and the like. I still have copies of most of those stories somewhere, but I never had the courage to try to seek publication. Now, seemingly out of left field, I find myself published simply because I felt a need to document my experience as a participant in the birth of my children.
Today I have in my hands the most recent issue of Midwifery Today (Summer 2008, Number 86), and my article is right near the front on page 12. The layout is very nice, and they selected some very cute pictures of the twins. Sarah is stoked at seeing the article in print, though she is disappointed that they did not select a picture with her in it.
Published…what next? Do I see about getting more published? I truly don’t know. Long ago I gave up the dream of being a writer, feeling that my skills were far more suited to being an editor than in being a writer. Yes, I can be quite eloquent in what I write, but I have a horrid time trying to come up with something to write if I am writing fiction. Of course, that in and of itself may be the key. Perhaps I need to work on writing about my life and my experiences rather than something in fiction. Will people read it, want to read it, or even care enough to want to see it published? I don’t have a clue. For now I think that I will content myself with simply trying to keep my blog updated from time to time and not worry about getting published again.
NOTE: I have updated the post with a link to the PDF of the article as it was published as provided by the publisher.
This morning was a bit of a pivot moment for me. No, I don’t have a new job yet, or anything dramatic like that. No, today my heart broke as I left for work.
Last night had not been restful for any of us, and I have been pretty groggy since before I got out of bed. I suspect Sarah isn’t doing much better. So, both of the kids were awake when I left. Caulla was stretched out on the floor sucking on her bottle, and looking like she was starting to drift off to sleep. Tiernan was fussing, and crankily crawling around. I needed contact for some reason. I can’t explain the why, just that I needed to pick him up. I gave him a good hug, told him that I loved him, and kissed the top of his head before putting him back on the floor beside Sarah. Then I grabbed my lunch and headed to the door. As I opened the door I looked back and saw Tiernan crawling after me just as Sarah commented on him crawling after me.
That was the moment my heart broke. The absolute last thing I wanted to do right then was go to work. All I wanted to do was hold my son, the son who was following his daddy to the door. Even now I am getting choked up thinking about it.
So why was this a pivot moment? It is a pivot moment because Tiernan and I have never really bonded all that well, and to have him follow me to the door…that signified a change to me, a change in our relationship as father and son. Those who have been there probably know exactly what I am talking about, and I hope that my meager words can help those who haven’t been there themselves see why it was so special to me.
