So, it has been a week since I got my 60 day layoff notice, and I am still coming to grips with things. The early feelings of disbelief and betrayal have faded somewhat, but are certainly still present, and at the moment I am trying to figure out just how loyal I should be to an organization that would eliminate my position and discard me like a soiled linen. There are many reasons for staying with this organization, but right now I am wondering whether they really make it worth staying.
I have seen a shift in my outlook though, and while part of it is a result of forcing me to look at it from a different perspective, the change is no less real for that effort. Let me be perfectly honest here: I have gotten complacent in recent years. I know my job inside and out. I know the unit that I support inside and out. There really isn’t anything new to learn, and there isn’t any hint of growth opportunities. Essentially, I am in a dead end position, and if I am going to continue to grow I need to reach outside this unit. I have known this for a couple of years now, and have made token efforts to find a job outside of the unit, but not with any real effort. The layoff notice changes all of this, and I find that I have a real drive to find something, and to find something better.
So, this is an opportunity for me to grow, to set aside preconceived notions, and to reach for something different. In my searching I have uncovered positions internally that I feel I am qualified to fill, and they are starting out with wages almost double what I am currently making!
On top of that I have had tremendous support from my classmates. Some are offering to circulate my resume, and others are offering to post my resume internally, to get me a jump up on the competition. At last count I had received offers of one sort or another from 8 of my classmates!
So, there are some real opportunities for me to explore, and I would be a fool to not post for everything that I feel that I am qualified for, or even partially qualified for since I can always learn new skills. I suspect that I am going to have to really brush up on my interview skills, and make sure that I am presentable in an interview. This means more money out of pocket since I really don’t have interview worthy garments in the closet right now…but the potential return on that investment more than pays for the investment itself.
Sometime around 4 this morning Sarah woke me up, asking where Tiernan was. I mumbled something about him being asleep at my back, and reached for him to confirm. I kept reaching….sure that he was there. After all, I could feel him kicking me in the rump, and he had been doing it for a bit now… Finally I got my hands on him, except what I got a handful of was not feet, but his head. Somehow, during the night, he managed to squirm down under the blankets and get turned sideways, with his head bumping up against my rump. I dragged him out of there and back up near the head of the bed, but by the time I got up at 6:00 he was halfway back down. Apparently I have a badger for a son, what with the way he seems to burrow under the covers.
I always knew that it was a possibility, but I never really thought that it could happen to me…until today. Today I was advised that due to “changing business needs” and “being overstaffed” I was being laid off from my current job. Shocked, I sat there while my HR Consultant went over the paperwork with me, covered my transition time (60 days) where I would still be employed by Wells, and the continuing salary benefits once that 60 days was over.
Laid off…my mind is still reeling in shock. What about school? How will we live? Will Sarah have to go back to work? Can I find another job in time? All of these questions are chasing themselves around in my mind like a dog chasing its tail. I do not have answers. I know what I need to do, but I have yet to grasp the reality of this situation.
The obvious next step is to find a new job, preferably within Wells so that I do not lose my benefits. This also provides me that opportunity to seek something in the tech field that I have been too afraid to go look for since it would mean starting over. Guess what? I have to start over anyway! Why not reach for the stars and try for something different?
So I am sitting here, at my computer at home, trying to get some of this down, hoping that by writing about it I can come to terms with this reality.
I find myself in a bit of a low point today. I was looking forward to gaming this weekend, but everyone in the house is coming down with some sort of bug, so we will be staying home instead. I think the real problem is that I need a vacation, a chance to truly unwind and recharge. Maybe let some creativity out to explore and have fun. Instead, I get home from work to a household that is still full of boxes that need unpacking. Sarah has been doing great without me, but I need to pull my weight with this so that she doesn’t have to do it all. Unfortunately I also have to go to work, and by the time I get home from work she needs a break from the kids, then we have dinner, and the whole time we have the kids to deal with…then it is time for bed. Day after day this is the pattern, but I am going to try to fight past that and start helping out more with the unpacking.
So energy is at an all time low right now, especially in the aftermath of the moving.
